Love notes color street. I recently read the book ‘Love Notes’. This is Alain De Botton’s first novel. Although it has been published for more than ten years, there is still a feeling of enlightenment after reading it.
Reading this book is not like reading a novel at all, but rather like reading an in-depth analysis of a “love case”.
The basic love story goes like this: the young architect met the female designer Chloe on the plane. The two fell in love at first sight. After getting off the plane, they started dating, and then formally confirmed the relationship, fell into passionate love, and encountered a period of emotional plateau. Ai Yiqing does not fall in love, breaks up, breaks up in love, and the actor restarts a new relationship.
This love story doesn’t sound new, it’s just a copy of the love of most people. It is precisely because of the universality of this love story that De Botton’s analysis of love from beginning to end appears more grounded.
There are too many philosophies about love in it, so that the fog of love has dissipated a lot, while screaming at the case, and at the same time, after learning the truth, I feel a little lost.
Sometimes, people like love, literature and art, just like the obscure, inexplicable feeling, see through without talking about it, leaving room for it, perhaps more people gain a sense of beauty. In fact, the more people think this way, the more they tend to be “Romanticism” and “Unrealism.”
Love notes color street. The birth of love is also mostly related to fantasy. De Botton pointed out that people’s need for love always precedes love. In other words, there is a desire for love, a fantasy and a longing for love, and then love can be produced. The person you fall in love with is the projection of people’s fantasy to the outside world.
For example, in Kawabata Yasunari’s “Snow Country,” Shimamura’s love for leaves is a projection of beauty in his heart. Xu Zhimo frantically pursued Lin Huiyin at that time and was also influenced by romantic thoughts, so that Lin Huiyin later said, “Xu Zhimo loves Lin Huiyin imagined by the poet’s romantic mood.” Love notes color street.
At the beginning of love, the two people don’t know much, so there is more room for fantasy. When the two people understand more, they are familiar with everything, and the fantasy is shattered or stagnated. So De Botton said that people usually fall in love when they know little about each other.
People who fall in love seem to have used a “Meitu Xiuxiu” for each other, all shortcomings and flaws are ignored, and only good things are left. Love notes color street. In the period of passionate love, the feeling of wanting to be one with each other is the strongest, and the romanticism of love also reaches its peak in the period of passionate love.
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The love in the passionate period is the most sultry, making people forget themselves completely, making people feel the beauty of love purely, and their instinctive needs to be loved, accepted, and appreciated have also received unprecedented “favors”.
Perhaps this is the most fascinating part of love, and it is also the reason why people tend to lose themselves in love. Love notes color street.
I like each other too much, and I am too obsessed with the happiness of being loved, so I am willing to make compromises and concessions for my sweetheart. I like what he likes, and I give him what he likes, regardless of whether I really like it in my heart. .
Feelings need a little compromise, but excessive compromise is a manifestation of inferiority. Even a talented woman like Zhang Ailing will “become very low and low, down to the dust” in front of love, but this “low” Compared to the happiness brought by love, it seems not worth mentioning, so “flowers can also bloom from the dust.” Love notes color street.
The moon is full of cloudy and sunny, and love also has its own rhythm. After the love period, the relationship enters a plateau. De Botton believes that men and women with “Marxist brotherly thinking” will show their “true colors” at this time. .
What is “Max Brothers Thinking”? It is that once you truly possess something, you instantly lose interest in it. Love notes color street.
For example, when a man pursues a woman, he can go up and down the fire, and when he really gets his wish and become a girlfriend, he loses the motivation to love; another example is when a person has no money, he looks at something and waits for money. When I bought it, I felt that this thing was actually like that. Love notes color street.
In real life, there are not a few people with “Max Brothers Thinking”. On the one hand, they have a strong pursuit of desire, but on the other hand, they don’t want to destroy the “beauty of looking at each other in the air.”
It’s like a piece of bacon hanging on a beam of a house. When you are hungry, you want to eat it, and you are mouth watering. It is not an exaggeration to describe its deliciousness in all beautiful words, but once it is eaten, the bacon will be beaten into the “cold palace”, maybe The correct way to deal with “Max Brothers Thinking” is to constantly increase the height of “bacon” and adjust their appetite.
The love between the actor and Chloe began to decline after the self-love period. All kinds of frictions were constant and could not be resolved well. In addition, the two could no longer create a feeling of excitement like the love period. Chloe transfers to another relationship and officially breaks up with the actor. Love notes color street.
De Botton mentioned the issue of lovers breaking up in the book. He believes that the party who proposes to break up is often regarded as the “evil party”. The reason why it is regarded as evil is actually a resentment of “paying unrewarded”. The subtext is that I have paid or sacrificed for you. Many, why are you embarrassed to break up with me?
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If you want to calculate the “love account”, it is really a mess. Trample or play with other people’s feelings is naturally to be condemned, but De Botton believes that the breakup due to emotional issues rather than financial interests issues, if both parties obtain real and great happiness in love, then the so-called “evil side” “It’s untenable.
The protagonist in the novel chose to commit suicide because of the pain of breaking up and was unable to let go. Fortunately, he ate vitamin C effervescent tablets instead of sleeping pills and escaped.
De Botton “deliberately arranged” a drama of an attempted suicide here, in fact, he wanted to warn people that using extreme methods to escape pain or to make the lover feel guilty is a very unworthy behavior.
He pointed out that people cannot come out of the pain of broken love because he chose the latter in self-esteem and self-loathing. Love notes color street.
Love notes color street. A few months after the breakup, the male protagonist managed to get out of the pain of broken love, and began dating with a new girlfriend, and a new relationship began.
What is love? This question is as difficult to explain as “who am I” in philosophy. But after another thought, in fact, only by knowing who you are and what you really want can you develop a mature love.
Love notes color street. People’s views and definitions of love are mostly derived from one’s worldview and values. Optimistic people prefer love which is sweet, pessimistic people prefer love which is bitter, and bohemian people prefer love. Passionate, fanciful people tend to love is romantic.
Everyone’s love experience is his life’s precious wealth, and his life’s precious love notes.