Is My Ex Girlfriend Thinking About Me During No Contact

Is she thinking about me during no contact

 Is she thinking about me during no contact?A lot of psychological studies have shown that, on the issue of happiness, ‘giving is proportional to gain’is not true. The desire to pursue happiness is too strong, but it will reduce our happiness.

Psychologist Barbara Frederickson conducted an experiment in which two groups of subjects were shown pleasant movie clips.

One group was told in advance that “you will be happier”; the other group said nothing. The results showed that people who were told in advance that they “would be happier” had worse moods.

“Pursuing happiness” is like a dog chasing his own tail, the more he wants, the less he wants.

Regarding happiness as the most important thing, there are probably several risks:

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1. It’s harder to get happiness from daily life


High expectations for happiness will make it easier for us to ignore the current experience and reduce the ability to perceive an activity.

Psychologist Iris Mauss has done a series of studies, through questionnaires to understand the other party’s importance of happiness, and then observe their reactions in daily life and specific activities.

It turns out that the more people who value happiness, the less experience they have in current life. It is also harder to be boosted when doing activities that can increase happiness.

  Is she thinking about me during no contact?

This can also explain why many times, our carefully planned trips or appointments always end in disappointment: the higher the expectations, the more we want to feel happiness, the harder it is for us to feel satisfied in reality.


2. More lonely


And Iris Mauss also recruited 206 subjects, investigated their degree of importance to happiness, and asked them to write down the most serious stress events they encountered every day, their emotions and reactions for two consecutive weeks. It turns out that those who value happiness more are more likely to feel lonely.

  Is she thinking about me during no contact?

On the one hand, the pursuit of personal happiness makes us only care about ourselves and less about the feelings of others; on the other hand, the belief that we must be happy can cause people to criticize and isolate themselves when they have negative emotions, and make loneliness worse.

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3. Get into a vicious circle caused by excessive control of emotions


 Is she thinking about me during no contact?The pursuit of happiness will make us fall into a “happiness trap”:

Think that the unhappy state is problematic and needs to be resolved immediately;

We believe that emotions can be completely controlled by us. If we fail to do so, it will aggravate self-criticism, which will lead to more negative emotions…

There is nothing wrong with focusing on happiness, but if you regard happiness as the only “right” and feel unhappy, it means that I am not normal and I have a problem. This is more dangerous.


 Is she thinking about me during no contact?Human emotions are an extremely complex subject. People spend a lot of time exploring and describing it. In the book of emotion historian Tiffany Watt Smith, 154 different emotions are recorded.

Among them, there are only a dozen kinds of “happy” emotions, and only a dozen other positive emotions.

More emotions are “unhappy”, such as fear, anxiety, and impatience; or “not so happy”, such as boredom, embarrassment, and loneliness.

This shows what? Compared to being happy, being unhappy or not so happy is the norm in life. You are not happy, not because you are bad, but because you are alone.

  Is she thinking about me during no contact?

Unhappiness is not only normal, it is also useful. It is a set of survival instincts developed by the brain in the long process of evolution.

For example, the emotion of fear can help our ancestors recognize danger in time and react quickly when living conditions are very bad. From the perspective of evolutionary psychology, it is with these emotions that human beings can reproduce to this day.

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 Is she thinking about me during no contact?Now, we no longer have to worry about meeting tigers when we go out, but emotions still play its role as an “alarm”:


 Is she thinking about me during no contact?Depression tells you: you need to rest, you need to change the environment.

Anxiety tells you: You may not be able to handle that project and you need to ask others for help.

Anger tells you: Your border has been violated.

 Without these unhappiness, we will not fight back when we encounter attacks, we will not run away when we encounter danger, and we may stay in an environment where we continue to hurt ourselves and do not want to leave.

In addition to serving as our “alarm”, some studies in recent years have shown that many “unhappy” emotions may also have additional benefits. For example, anger can improve your creativity, and negative emotions will make you use fairer emotions. Treat others in a way.

  Is she thinking about me during no contact?

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Psychology expert Matthias Bass found in an experiment in 2009 that an angry person’s creativity reaches its peak in the early stages of emotional triggering.

This is because anger can make people feel that they are being pushed to a desperate situation, which makes all parts of the body ready to mobilize resources quickly and find breakthrough solutions to problems.

So, it’s useless to tell yourself that you must be happy every day. What can you do to really improve our overall happiness?

  Is she thinking about me during no contact?


To put it bluntly, there are only two things: creating and feeling “happy”; coping with and dealing with “unhappy”.


1. Happiness first strategy


Barbara Frederickson found after experiments that, compared to the only happiness strategy of “being the most important thing is to be happy”, the happiness priority strategy can improve happiness more effectively.

  Is she thinking about me during no contact?


The so-called happiness priority strategy is to prioritize one’s own happiness when arranging daily activities, instead of pursuing happiness all the time.

 Is she thinking about me during no contact?

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2. Don’t analyze happiness

Sonia Ljubomirsky, a professor of psychology, once asked participants to analyze their own happiness in an experiment. The participants were divided into 4 groups:


The first group: Recall a happy experience in the brain;

The second group: think about each step of this experience and analyze: why is it so, what is the difference from the past, etc.;

The third group: review that happy experience through writing;

The fourth group: review and analyze the entire happy experience through writing.

It turns out that it is not writing, but analysis that reduces happiness. The first group that simply recalls the happy clips is the happiest. Followed by the third group. The two groups of analyzed happiness have decreased.

 Is she thinking about me during no contact?

Happiness is for feeling, not for thinking. When you are happy, don’t think about why you are so happy. Just enjoy it.

I think that when you press the option “Being a man must be happy”, what you really want is not 100% happiness, but emotional freedom.

This means that when we are happy, we will not worry about whether we are worth it, and when we are unhappy, we will not doubt whether we are normal.

If you have any emotional problems to ask me, click here!

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