How do you write a good break up letter for him? Someone once trusted me privately. She always couldn’t help but want to say that she broke up, but she regretted it after she said it. She also knew that this was wrong, but she couldn’t control herself, and the critical moment was still old Look like. This may be related to your attachment pattern.
Psychologist Phillip Shaver and others have explored the patterns of adult attachment through modern research methods. They believe that there are three types of love attachment patterns:
1. Safe lover:
How do you write a good break up letter for him? People with this attachment mode are easy to form intimate relationships with others and are willing to let others get close to themselves. When you get along with a safe lover, you will feel very comfortable and relaxed, even though If you accidentally make a mistake in your relationship or fail to take into account his feelings, he will not feel too upset;
2. Avoidant lover:
How do you write a good break up letter for him? Whenever they approach others or others approach them, they will feel uncomfortable. These people have trouble with trust and being trusted by others. If your lover is avoiding, Then you will often feel inexplicable, why he is always indifferent, or seems to always keep a distance from you;
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3. Anxiety-contradictory lover:
How do you write a good break up letter for him? These people want to get a sense of intimacy, but they feel uneasy about the relationship. Their eager attitude toward the relationship may scare the romantic partner. Studies have found that only about half of people have a secure attachment pattern, and the remaining half are avoidant lovers or anxious-ambivalent. Avoidant lovers are not easy to trust their lovers in a relationship. If the lovers are too close, they may feel uncomfortable, so they can get a temporary sense of security by breaking up;
How do you write a good break up letter for him? And those who like to talk about breaking up are more common in anxious and contradictory lovers. Once this type of attachment feels neglected by the lover, they will be very anxious and uneasy. It is easy to be unable to restrain yourself, and hope that through breaking up to get more care and feel more control. Repeatedly raising the breakup can easily dampen each other’s self-esteem and hurt each other’s sense of trust, thereby reducing love satisfaction, accidentally overturning the boat, false breakups become real breakups, resulting in large-scale embarrassing breakup scenes.
(I’m Calliope,I’m an emotional writer from China, first, thank you for your follow, I’m very happy you can read my article, if you have the following questions:
1. Premarital, Post-marital relationship problems advice;
2. Problems about how to find a girlfriend;
3. Problems about the process of love.
How do you write a good break up letter for him? If you belong to these two types of insecure attachment types, then when you have thoughts of breaking up because of some trivial things or unhappy emotions in a fight, you have to ask yourself A few questions, let yourself calm down:
1. How do I feel and what emotions I feel now;
2. What makes me have such an emotional experience;
3. What am I upset, fear, or anxiety;
4. Do I feel so strong now simply because he did something wrong: Is it because my attachment type is causing trouble and aggravating insecurity;
5. Has his mistake this time violated my bottom line of love? Is it unforgivable;
1. Do I have any expectations for his behavior?
2. If I break up, will I get back together as before?
3. If he agrees to break up, will I regret it?
When you have answered these questions for yourself, I believe that there will be an answer in your heart. This breakup is a means for you to hope that the other party will change or make yourself more secure, or a necessary move for the end of your relationship.
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02 Based on the principle of reducing secondary damage
How do you write a good break up letter for him? The frequently searched Luo Champion and Liang Ying events have once again refreshed the public’s understanding of the break up. Liang Ying commissioned a lawyer to issue a statement: “Luo Guanjun didn’t rape me. Because the two sides did not handle the breakup, it was revealed that the wrongdoing Luo Champion raped me on the Internet. I did not buy the hot search to stir up public opinion, and it was an accident that the hot search was triggered. The public security agency can go to the backstage investigation on Sina Weibo and apologize to the public and Luo Guanjun and his family here.”
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Although we have no way of knowing the true inside story, this way of breaking up is really shocking. Excluding the non-emotional factors such as the struggle for interests, what is the reason that can make the former lovers tear off their past feelings when they break up and fall into an embarrassing situation of ruthless tears regardless of the consequences?
One important reason is that during the breakup, at least one of the two felt a strong feeling of being hurt again.