What are good questions to ask your girlfriend?

A girl smoking against a barbed wire

What are good questions to ask your girlfriend? I received a letter from a reader before. In the communication, he said that he had known his girlfriend for more than four years and had been engaged and decided to get married in the second half of the year. It seemed that everything was very natural. But his girlfriend flirted with others. He didn’t know whether the relationship should continue, so he turned to me for help.

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In fact, many lovers in love have the same problem as above: in the greenhouse without conflict, they feel that marriage is equal to love. It’s not until we begin to face conflicts and contradictions that we begin to reflect on whether a relationship is suitable for marriage.

What is a good conversation starter with your girlfriend? I don’t know whether the two parties are ready to enter the state of marriage and what needs to be adjusted. When we rush into the relationship, we find that marriage is more complicated than we think, but the cost of change is too high, and we regret it.

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What are good questions to ask your girlfriend? “15 questions to ask before marriage”, originally published in the New York Times, was put forward by psychological experts in the United States. It’s a series of questions that test whether the two sides are consistent in the three levels. These 15 questions are not simply yes or no, but require both sides to reach a high degree of consensus and have a detailed plan.

1. Do we want children? If so, who is in charge?

2. What are our earning power and goals? Will there be a conflict between consumption view and saving view?

3. How does our family last? Who will control the possible risks?

4. Have we exchanged the disease history of both sides in detail? Including spiritual.

5. Did our parents’ attitude meet our expectations? Will you give enough blessings? If not, how can we face it?

6. Do we speak naturally and frankly about our sexual needs, preferences and fears?

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7. Can I have a TV in the bedroomIt generally refers to all the differences in living habits, such as different opinions on pet ownership, different tastes, snoring, one loves to clean up and the other is messy

8. Can we really listen to each other and treat each other’s thoughts and complaints fairly?

9. Do we clearly understand each other’s spiritual needs and beliefs? Have we discussed the future education model of children?

10. Do we like and respect each other’s friends?

11. Can we value and respect each other’s parents? Have we considered that our parents might interfere in our relationship?

12. What’s bothering you most about my family?

13. What will we never give up because of marriage?

14. If one of us needs to leave his family and accompany the other to work in other places, can we?

15. Are we confident that we can face any challenge and keep our marriage going?

Of course, all these problems are based on the love between the two sides, otherwise there is no need at all.

What are some good questions to ask your girlfriend? The significance of the discussion lies in:

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There will be many known and unknown difficulties in marriage. How can we face them side by side?

When each other’s shortcomings are exposed, how can we tolerate each other and seek common ground while reserving differences?

What are good questions to ask your girlfriend? If your seemingly passionate love is afraid of these problems, you can’t get married. On the one hand, modern people emphasize too much on the sanctification of love and think that love is a good medicine to cure everything. On the other hand, they underestimate the complexity of marriage and advocate pragmatic and quick marriage, which leads to the surprisingly high divorce rate and derailment rate of the generation after 80 and 90.

If the above problems make you nervous, then you need to open your heart to communicate with each other, because it is not easy to turn romantic love into trivial life.

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